When Will These Olympics End?

Is there anyone on the planet that believes that the Chinese "women" gymnasts are 16 years old?
WTF, I have socks older than these little girls. There's no way that they are 13 let alone 16.
So whats the deal? If you host the Olympics you can cheat and everyone pretends that its ok cause, gee we really don't want to insult our hosts.
Fuck that.
When you host the Olympics it means that you, as a nation, have entered the big time. Your nation is supposed to be mature enough to play by the rules. It's ok to have nationalist pride but as the host nation you have to reject demands of nationalist nitwits to sacrifice honor for a gold medal.

When our gymnast, Nastia Liukin ties with China's child for the gold, guess what? Our girl gets the silver and their underage contortionist gets the gold. Hey, its a tie you dumb fucks. That means you share the gold or have a fucking fly-off tiebreaker.

Excuse me for stating the obvious but the last time an emerging power hijacked the Olympics to showcase their supposed dominance in sports as an excuse for a totalitarian regime was Nazi Germany at the 1936 Berlin Games. Hitler used those games as a choreographed circus to justify and glorify a racist, nationalist regime. Too bad for Adolf that Jessie Owens showed up and derailed his superior aryan crap. Try this link if you want to learn more about how Hitler made the Olympics into his little whore.

Well here we go again
The International Olympic Committee is rolling over for China like a little bitch. Hey,those girls are not 16. I'm sorry but they're not. A tie is a tie. That means equal, a draw, dammit. You don't win, we don't lose.

It's truly annoying to think how hard our athletes have worked only to see their governments kow tow to a fascist regime bent on sucking all the honor out of these games to promote the fantasy of a China that accepts dissent and prospers under a one party rule.

Fuck them.

Fuck them in the head.
They cheat and they lie.

They cheat artists by ignoring the largest counterfeiting industry on the planet.
They cheat consumers by selling lead based crap and lying about it.
They poison our children and pets by selling us adulterated food and medicine.
And now they rig the Olympics like it's a three card monty game!
Enough is enough.

Buy Some Boobs, Dammit

It should come as no surprise to anyone on the planet that males like females with large breasts. We don't know why. It's just the way we're wired.
For at least a million years, males have been extremely understanding that it's just not possible for all females to have large breasts.

Until now.
Now, thanks to the dedication of the medical profession, it is possible for all women with a few thousand dollars to have large breasts.

Hey, What are you waiting for?

If you are a flat chested woman with $7,000 you need to buy some boobs.
If for nothing else just to say that you respect the fact that 50% of the people on this planet would greatly appreciate the gesture. How can you worry about your carbon footprint and not be upset about that your flat chest is telling all males that you could care less about their feelings.

If you are a rich woman with a flat chest you are sending a message that you just don't give a damn about half the world's population. Is that how you want to be remembered? As an uncaring, cold hearted person who would deny the aspirations of several billion people.

Lets face it. Size matters. If there was anyway males could add a couple of inches for a few thousand you can bet your little size A bra we would throw that money down. We would forsake golf clubs, power tools and even fast cars to swing some serious lumber for our female companions on starship earth. For god's sake look at how much viagra we take just to satisfy female sex drives.
Pain, scars, no problems. You know wouldn't even have to ask. We are ready, willing and able to buy more wood but it's not for sale. That's just the kind of unselfish gender we are.

So what's up girls?

Isn't it time for you to stop being selfish? Isn't it time to reach out to the other gender and let them know you understand their needs?

You know it's the right thing to do.
Buy some boobs, dammit!

Democracy is Dumb and Annoying

It's time to face up to facts, democracy in America is a dumb and annoying joke. Letting an uninformed mob pick its rulers gave us a mental midget not once but twice for God's sake. It has to be stopped. WTF is an electoral college? Who are super delegates and what makes them so super?
The two party system can only deliver partisan politics that keeps every administration and congress from addressing the serious issues that are bankrupting the country fiscal and morally.

Health care, poverty, education all take a back seat to gay marriage and abortion. It has to stop.

We need to try a parliamentary form of government for a couple of decades and compare the results to the last 20 years. How can it be worse.

Annoyed to Death

Life Expectancy - Why is it that no one seems to question that males live far less than females. Go to any assisted living residence or nursing home and look around. If there are 500 residents only 15 are males. What the fuck is going on? Women are annoying men to death, literally. Its a goddamn genocide and no one cares. Can you imagine any other segment of the population where they are killed off about 15 years before their demographic counterparts? Blacks vs whites, poor vs rich, dumb vs smart, drunks vs sober... what an outcry there would be in the press. Congressional hearings, telethons, celebrity spokespersons, colored funking ribbons would be pinned to millions of breasts. But none of these demographic differences come any where close to matching the overwhelming difference in life expectanacy that is taken for granted with males vs females. The only conclusion that can be reached is that women as a gender are waging a war against males and they are winning.

Annoying Quotes

"He has all the virtues I find annoying and none of the vices I admire"
Winston Churchill, an annoying fat Englishman

"In the part of this universe that we know there is great injustice, and often the good suffer, and often the wicked prosper, and one hardly knows which of those is the more annoying." - Bertrand Russell

How annoying does this guy look?

"The problem with people with no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure that they are going to have some pretty annoying virtues."
Elizbeth Taylor, an annoying fat actress

Habits of Truly Annoying People

1. Constantly interjecting how the value of their house has gone up into every conversation. Hey, I don't want to know how much your house is worth. Everyone's house is worth more than they paid for it. Just because the real estate market is up doesn't mean you know jack shit about real estate. Shut up already!

2. Droning on about where you went to college and getting excited about your college football team. It's been years since you were in college. You look like an idiot in your college sweatshirt. You had your turn on campus and that was it. Get on with being an adult.

3. People who scream into their cell phones in a public place. There's no way they don't know how annyoing they are. What are they thinking? That if they talk louder the person on the other end will be able to hear them better? Its a telephone, not a megaphone. If they can't hear you at a normal volume, they can't hear you at any volume, you morons.

4. Tilting your airline seat all the way back on crowded planes.
I was just on a morning flight from Washington DC to Florida and the guy in front of me tilts his seat all the way back the second that we are in the air and he leaves it there till landing. This inconsiderate asshole left his seatback in the reclining position even when he went to the head.

The only time you should tilt your seat all the way back is on a red-eye when everyone on board is trying to sleep. People who put their seat in the full recline position to be more comfortable at the expense of the passenger are not trying to take a nap. They are claiming territory and this is an act of hostile agression to their fellow passengers.

Everyone knows that airlines have drasticlly reduced legroom to cram as many passengers in coach as possible. So listen, if you want to be comfortable spring for an upgrade or fucking stay at home in your fucking La-Z-Boy. And airlines if you're going to take away our legroom can't you announce at the begining of each flight that everone in coach refrain from putting their seatbacks in full recline or risk having a cup of scalding coffee poured on them.